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Story Archives: Hey Les, give me a call


Hey Les, give me a call
by Joey Martin - posted E-mail Story E-mail Story | Print Story Print Story 
So I'm surfing the LSUsports.net Web site and I come across LSU Football's Prospective Student-Athlete Questionairre.

Surely this is not how you come about the top recruiting class in the nation?

Can't you just see Les Miles kicked back in his office chair going, "Hey, let me check out this Russell Sheppard kid."

Anyway, I thought it would be fun to fill this thing out.

Hey, you never know when they might start recruiting for the old-timers game.

The first part is for the prospect's high school coach.

Great, there are 100-plus high school coaches having to deal with teen-agers whose parents think they are the greatest athlete in the world because of what they did in T-Ball. "Sure, I'll fill it out, Mrs. Cleaver. Yes ma'am, I remember when little Johnny rushed for 300 yards in that pee wee football game. Tell Ward I said hey." All the while thinking to himself, "Coach Miles is not going to talk to me again if I put what they expect me to put."

So after the standard filling out of name and address I get to offensive position, defensive position, specialties and on to the part about height and weight. Yeah, I hear ya chuckling out there.

Well, heck you are going to lie about in the program, so I'll just put 6-foot-4 and 250 pounds. There's also a space for 40, so I just put 4.4. Bet I'll be getting a call on that cell phone number I listed real quick and in a hurry.

Jersey Number: Gosh, gotta put No. 1. Don't want them to think I'll be intimidated up there.

Next comes personal information. LSU People You Know: Skip Bertman and chancellor Dr. Michael Martin. That oughta get me off the bench as a freshman. OK, probably not off the bench, but at least keep me on the sidelines. Which is probably a good thing considering the guys on the other side are actually 6-5, 280 pounds and run from this sideline to that sideline in no time flat.

Past academic information and on to athletic information.

Previous injuries: Are you serious? Stumped my toe kicking a 65-yard field goal to win the pee wee football league title.

Please list in order your top three universities of your choice.

Well, since you didn't ask them, Southern Cal, Notre Dame and Florida.

I figure that cell phone oughta be ringing any time soon. Oops, gotta go. Rivals.com is on the other line. They must have a pretty good computer hacker. I'll be out of the country until signing day.

Just tell Les, Nick, Urban and Pete I'm still weighing my options.


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