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|Don't open up against LSU|
So I'm the coach of a big-time college football program and I get a call from a Chick-Fil-A football game official or someone like Jerry Jones (don't laugh, they could have dialed the wrong number) and they ask, "Hey, how would you like to play LSU in prime time on the first Saturday of college football?
Wow, great exposure, should help recruiting, catching LSU early is better than later, big money — sounds great!
But wait, my memory is not as good as it used to be (OK, it's not even a blip on the radar), but it seems like the last two opponents LSU faced in their season-openers had something like the plague hit their program right after they were scheduled to play LSU in the season opener.
Yeah, that's the ticket (OK, sometimes my mind betrays me using old, corny sayings), there was that game in Atlanta last year in which LSU was scheduled to play North Carolina.
The Tar Heels had 13 players suspended because of an academic and agent scandal. Six of those 13 are starters were on defense, including the star defensive tackle Marvin Austin.
And this year LSU is playing Oregon. Another great season-opening match-up.
But here comes word of Oregon not playing right and apparent turmoil in Duckland.
Oregon cornerback Cliff Harris was suspended indefinitely from the Ducks' football program following a recent incident that included citations for driving at excessive speeds and driving with a suspended license, head football coach Chip Kelly announced Wednesday. Kelly added that the suspension includes Harris sitting out a minimum of Oregon's 2011 season opener against LSU.
The 2010 consensus All-America defensive back and punt returner led the nation with 23 passes broken up and was second in the country in punt returns with an 18.8-yard average, in addition to pacing the Pac-12 Conference with six interceptions.
And then there is that mess with Will Lyles.
According to those reports I hear (yeah, we coaches read that stuff but tell people we don't pay attention) there's a possibility that Oregon may have been paying large sums of money in exchange for high-level recruits. (I know nothing, nothing). In particular, the school's athletic department paid $25,000 to Willie Lyles, a talent scout with close connections to superstar running back recruit (and eventual Oregon signee) Lache Seastrunk.
Lyles denied any wrongdoing, of course, and Oregon asserted that the $25,000 was in exchange for general recruiting information and was in no way used for the purposes of steering a particular recruit to Eugene or anywhere else.
Hey, everybody has a Willie Lyles. My guy, Jeffrey Huggybear, hangs out at the local YMCA.
We're 2-18 over the last two years, so apparently all Huggybear has been doing is hanging around.
But something tells me if I agree to play LSU, Huggybear will be appearing on television with Lou Holtz, Craig James and Kirk Herbstreit and look more stupid than those guys. Yeah, I know, that's saying a lot, but I can't say that because I'm a coach and we have this coaching fraternity honor we have to adhere to. Well, most of us anyway (sorry Lane Kiffin).
Anyway, I may just have to get back to Mr. Jones and Mr. Chick-fil-A.
Besides, Jordan Jefferson will be gone and that Mettenberger kid looks like he's going to be lighting some defenses up.
Think I will just wait to see if Cumberland has an open date that first week.
Oh, never mind, Ohio State has already called on them.
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