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Story Archives: What I don't want for Christmas


What I don't want for Christmas
by Joey Martin - posted E-mail Story E-mail Story | Print Story Print Story 
Dear Santa, never mind what I want for Christmas (I know world peace gets old to you), how about what I don't want?

How about no more lockouts? The NFL season started out a bit sluggish because of the layoff and I can only imagine how bad the early NBA play is going to be.

Not to mention the fact it kind of sours me on the sports.

It's easy to believe in the magic of Christmas, but c'mon, I was really thinking some of these guys actually enjoyed what they were doing for millions of dollars.

It's like leaving one sock in my stocking. (Check your North Pole washing machine).

Hey Santa, no more athletes getting suspended for dirty hits, breaking the law or failing drug tests. OK, OK, you fly through the air in a sleigh pulled by reindeer and deliver gifts all around the world in one night. I should not expect miracles from you.

And Santa, no rematches for the national championship. Oops, kinda got that one in a little late, didn't I? A few Coach Scrooges already got to you.

Hey Santa, don't send any nagging injuries to Jarrett Hoffpauir next season. If anybody deserves an extended stay in the Big Leagues it's Hoffpauir. He's getting another chance with the Washington Nationals and if he can stay healthy and gets a fair shot, I believe he will be a National for a while.

And, Santa, don't let any LSU underclassmen declare early for the the draft in any sport. All right, all right, I may as well ask Bobby Petrino to ask Les Miles to lunch.

St. Nick (no, the real one), how about making sure the New Orleans don't ever trade for Ndamukong Suh.

Please Santa, don't let Brett Favre return to football. I would rather remember him for the great games he played.

Santa, don't bring any more teams into the Southeastern Conference. There is something called too much of a good thing.

And, please, Santa, don't let anyone talk Lou Holtz out of retiring if he ever finally decides to do such. My goodness, he helped you load up your first sleigh, didn't he?

Santa, don't let there be any day games in Tiger Stadium next year.

And Santa, don't give any more of those yahoos who are bad-mouthing Tim Tebow any more air time. The guy is genuine, humble, and more important, a faithful servant. Stick a stocking in their mouths (or my missing sock).

If some of the former athletes dissing on Tebow were apparently so perfect, why didn't they set all kinds of passing or rushing records? Most of it obviously goes beyond the football field, and that's just a shame. Carry on, Tebow. The silent majority admires you.

And how about not letting these guys after big plays pretend to open their shirts like Superman. Or give them some Clark Kent glasses to put on after a fumble or penalty.

Hey Santa, nice gift for new Missouri Southern coach Daryl Daye. Very much deserves being a head coach. But don't let it stop there. Would love to see him back in the Southeast, especially in those purple and gold clothes that fit him so well.

How about no more winless football teams in the parish. You can't help but feel for the Vidalia High players and coaches who worked hard all season and offseason only not to sbe able to experience the thrill of victory at least once.

I know losing builds character, but that's just a little too much character-building right there. These guys deserve much better.

For Ferriday High's football team, how about a coach staying around for another year. Sorry to put the pressure on you there, Coach Richard Oliver, but the Trojan senior players this year were playing under their fourth head football coach.

I understand the money for coaches doesn't compare with other parishes in the state, but some really good coaches have walked in and out of the Trojan field house and I would hate to see another one do the same.

And, on a very serious note, don't allow the type of people into coaching that we have unfortunately been reading so much about lately. Fill their stockings with coal.

On a final note, thanks for the great gifts we have received in this parish.

We've been fortunate to be blessed with so many class people as coaches and so many outstanding athletes. Don't let that stop.

Merry Christmas!


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